# BEST Honda Jokes... LOL



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

Post em up if you have a humorous side


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

"Putting NOS on a Honda is like ****ing your girlfriend who has an STD... You wanna hit it but are afraid of the consequences..."


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

"My torque wrench has more torque than your Honda does even at VTEC"


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

my vtec rapes all volkswagens. cause you guys drive slow and park low. great job dudes! when one of you beats a k24 bottom k20 head hatch holla at me. o wait you guys dont touch engines hmmm how can i put this in mechanically impaired terms... you guys are slow ok end thread


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

one more thing in the eurotuner with the red mk3 gli called red rocket has anyone noticed theres a black ek (civic) hatch in front of it in the quarter mile ? its 500 hp and cant beat a little honda lolz fail



_Modified by elnoly09 at 6:07 AM 6-16-2009_


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

lol it depends... if its a Mk2 VR6 Turbo vs a Civic K20 Bubble then who knows haha


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

too bad they get stolen all the time and alot of the owners can be *****







LMAO


----------



## bubuski (Jun 14, 2001)

*Re: BEST Honda Jokes... LOL (Grifkylian)*

It feels good


----------



## eigenbrotler (Oct 20, 2008)

*Re: BEST Honda Jokes... LOL (bubuski)*

hondas are like tampons every ***** needs one 
having a fast honda is like coming out of the closet. you surprise everyone at first, but in the end your still gay.


----------



## gruppe-b (Dec 6, 2008)

*Re: BEST Honda Jokes... LOL (eigenbrotler)*

i'd guess this is going to get locked any second ,now..lol


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

lol haha hope not


----------



## GABEVW707 (Oct 30, 2008)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_my vtec rapes all volkswagens. cause you guys drive slow and park low. great job dudes! when one of you beats a k24 bottom k20 head hatch holla at me. o wait you guys dont touch engines hmmm how can i put this in mechanically impaired terms... you guys are slow ok end thread 

yeah thats cuz we dont wanna go street race and ****ing crash and kill someone 
we are know for low and slow for a reason 
ohhh and by the way you idiot.... youre on a volkswagen forum


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

*Re: (GABEVW707)*

hey deuce bag who mentioned street racing lol all im saying is that we having single cam naturally aspirated cars hitting the 9 second mark in an insight on the quarter mile. 


_Modified by elnoly09 at 6:42 AM 6-16-2009_


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

fact of the matter is that hondas are faster in 1/4 mile and around the track. why v dubs only race against themselves. like the jetta cup ? why dont they come out and play ?


----------



## Boogety Boogety (Jun 22, 2003)

*Re: (elnoly09)*

OP was looking for Honda jokes, I guess the illiterate poster above is a joke in and of himself... great job hijacking the thread (and the term is _douche_-bag, you uneducated douche-bag), now go away...








The difference between VW and Honda owners? VWs drive, Hondas aim...


----------



## eurod4drVR (Sep 12, 2008)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_fact of the matter is that hondas are faster in 1/4 mile and around the track. 


dude stop playing quarter mile and play highway... then come back and talk **** if you can keep up to any german car on the highway...
face it quarter miles are made for hondas while top end is made for vw etc... oo and its not like we can plug and play 10 motors into one... just be lucky that it cost a honda 1/10th to build than a vw... and just an fyi ive seen VR's hit high 8's.. so dont get your panties wet cuz ur hondas does 9's


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

LOL back to the jokes







and anyone can build a 13:1+ high compression motor...


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

high ways for v dubs are you ****ing kidding ? who here wants to take my friends nsx? or my supercharged s2000 any takers for a highway run ? because when you guys stop at 155 ill be pulling


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

since non of you idiots know the real origins of the 1/4 it was designed for AMERICAN MUSCLE idiots. japanese cars are meant to go aroudn corners. Torque monsters such as cobra, chevelles, and other american cars are meant for the 1/4 you guys are dumber then every one else says


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

just in case you forgot in a previous post it was stated " that your torque wrench has more torque then hondas" how would a honda do good on a 1/4 that is all about acceleration and launch ?


----------



## dasGTIauto (Mar 12, 2009)

*Re: (elnoly09)*

Honda's are cheaply made, ugly, slow turds. Volkswagen's are beautiful, german engineered enthusiast's vehicles. Go back to talking s*** on other honda's. http://****************.com/smile/emthup.gif


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

whos car is going to last longer ? who has better reviews on consumer guide? o wait i forgot consumer guides are idiots


----------



## varcolton152 (Aug 12, 2008)

*Re: BEST Honda Jokes... LOL (Grifkylian)*

not exactly on topic, but more so than most other posts on this thread.


----------



## [email protected] (Apr 21, 2006)

Get angry










_Modified by [email protected] at 4:15 PM 6-16-2009_


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

*Re: ([email protected])*

the funny thing is only the losers on the vortex mention and call out the honda guys while there are no guys on here to defend it. but go on to an jdm forum and theyre not talking ****. if anything they dont mind v dubs and tolerate them


----------



## GABEVW707 (Oct 30, 2008)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_high ways for v dubs are you ****ing kidding ? who here wants to take my friends nsx? or my supercharged s2000 any takers for a highway run ? because when you guys stop at 155 ill be pulling 

Have you heard about the w12?? Google it before you go look at gay Porn.. And see my friends twin turbo 335i on the highway.. And by see it I mean check out the tail lights cuz that's all you're gonna see


----------



## GABEVW707 (Oct 30, 2008)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_the funny thing is only the losers on the vortex mention and call out the honda guys while there are no guys on here to defend it. but go on to an jdm forum and theyre not talking ****. if anything they dont mind v dubs and tolerate them 
 
oh and actually not until recently have SOME started to show some respect.. Before all they did was talk ****.... Now they rock our wheels


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

are you for real ? come on if you could be anymore of an idiot ? w12 is a NON PRODUCTION car you **** tart lol o yea just the other day i saw one picking up groceries at the store. no you idiot you cant buy one so there for it doesnt matter. thats like me saying im going to destroy you in the v10 nsx. o wait no one can buy one. you are an idiot my friend and we rock your wheels ? since when? lol bbs everyother fan boy on here has a set. fact of the matter is im makign valid points and im faster end thread 


_Modified by elnoly09 at 5:07 PM 6-16-2009_


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

and i hope u mean the w12-560 cause the phaeton is a joke 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmGNRMOpg7E
at least you can make tea in it right ?


----------



## bubuski (Jun 14, 2001)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_the funny thing is only the losers on the vortex mention and call out the honda guys while there are no guys on here to defend it. 

I am a Honda Guy(See care list)...and it is just a point A-to-B appliance....nothing more. Why get all worked up when the original poster is just asking for *jokes*? You just created an account, if the heat is too much, please return to your jdm board. Do you have to prove?


----------



## Boogety Boogety (Jun 22, 2003)

*Re: (elnoly09)*

I say enough of illiterate, small-genitalia'ed ignorant bashers who think joking about their precious tin cans is a personal affront to their manhood, such as it is. You have come dangerously unarmed to a battle of wits, hijacked a thread that might have been amusing for many, and shown the world what happens when the only intelligence you might have had ran down your mommy's leg at conception. Perhaps the mods will mercifully delete this fiasco, so you can spew your crap elsewhere... I'm presuming my fellow 'texers also wish an end to your stupidity, so on behalf of all here, I'm blocking your sorry rants, and suggest... /thread.


----------



## polska20v (Nov 9, 2007)

*Re:*

I'm a honda/vw owner myself you don't see me coming in here starting dumb ****, he asked for jokes. He didn't ask for some dumb young punk to compare vw's and honda's. damn I hate people like you http://****************.com/smile/emthdown.gif


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

*Re: (Boogety Boogety)*

lol ok ill give you guys back your thread my thread jack is over peace. btw you guys didnt come up with one good point to defend v dubs you jsut bashed me lol. and internet dissing is really cool ima ride out before i get shot by one of you e thugs riding 6 guys deep in a jetta. PEACE! just do the ban already!


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

PEACE!


----------



## szuniga725 (Jul 12, 2007)

He came to defend hondas, you dont see this bull**** happening on any JDM forum I am a member of... There is no"dumb young punk" bull**** going on... if you want to be fair, start up a VW jokes thread... The thing is it won't happen, keep forum bull**** to yourselves, bashing a car make is just garbage. I see countless sigs on this forum bashing hondas for no reason, and don't even begin to call elnoly09 illiterate and ignorant. When you yourself saw other "VW guys" making up bull****... "1/4 miles were designed for Hondas" is my personal favorite... This thread should have never even been started, much less ranted upon. If you want to tell Honda jokes, keep them to yourselves, or tell them among a group of friends, but educate yourselves before you do so please for the sake of everybody's brain cells.


----------



## elnoly03 (Apr 22, 2007)

*Re: (szuniga725)*


_Quote, originally posted by *szuniga725* »_He came to defend hondas, you dont see this bull**** happening on any JDM forum I am a member of... There is no"dumb young punk" bull**** going on... if you want to be fair, start up a VW jokes thread... The thing is it won't happen, keep forum bull**** to yourselves, bashing a car make is just garbage. I see countless sigs on this forum bashing hondas for no reason, and don't even begin to call elnoly09 illiterate and ignorant. When you yourself saw other "VW guys" making up bull****... "1/4 miles were designed for Hondas" is my personal favorite... This thread should have never even been started, much less ranted upon. If you want to tell Honda jokes, keep them to yourselves, or tell them among a group of friends, but educate yourselves before you do so please for the sake of everybody's brain cells.

Ok I didint want to get into this. But to a certain extent this is already pissing me off. To all reading this thread, notice the difference in name and join dates between me and the threadjacker, I have nothing to do with him.







I do agree, the stupid comebacks on the "Honda's are made for the quarter miles", thats just retarded. However, the threadjacker has come in here with the most idiotic attitude, "My Vtec rapes all V-Dubs", since when is it ALL about the power, and since when do YOU have VTEC?







You have proven that Honda's do succed at power and handling and thats basically all. A car and its scene cant be measure by the way it handles a corner or how it pulls, anyone can stick a turbo in a car and gain speed. Theres more to life than power and handling. But you have come into someone elses thread provoking problems. Before you think of anything else, just put it this way, what you have done is like a black guy walking into a thread of "****** jokes" and saying, "**** you guys, my dick is bigger than all of you". You proved valid points, at being biased in a way that Honda's and JDM is faster, there are FAST JDM cars, the same way there are FAST EUROPEAN cars, because all in all, all you have defended is the speed of an automobile. I hate the fact that some people cant take jokes about a certain brand of cars and get agrevated. Let me ask you something though, when was the last tiome someone went into you JDM forum and just posted "My 1.8t can rape all your Honda's? Because that's what basically happened in this thread. Why can we stop trolling, and just accept cars for what they are. They each have their scene, and they each have their sick cars. The same ways, they each have their forum trolls. There will be uneducated trolls and retards in every forums and I can honestly say, I can't judge Hondas or the VWvortex on this thread alone. I really hope this thread dosent get blackholed, just locked, so other people can come in here and read what I have just written. 
You guys have come in here defending your cars and scene, but the way you thread jacked was very immature and biased. Zuniga, the way this dude has run up in here claiming the power of a JDM car, is all in all stupid. He expects that theres no such thing as a fast VW or fast Euro, because a big part of the VW scene is into stance and ride height. If you cant take a joke thread and you have to come in and troll about how you have this much power and such, then what have you really proven when you bashed on some elses thread. I feel like im just repeating myself, but I'm trying to get my point across, that because the 4 or 5 guys that responded to your retarded ass responses, have well, been in themselves retarded in party given to the fact that they cant prove themselves right and in part because they have responded to you. In reality their responses have made as much sense as your argument on how the European line of cars is useless because Honda's are more powerful based on your biased opinion of only what YOU have seen. 
/thread



















_Modified by elnoly03 at 11:08 PM 6-16-2009_


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

see this is why i said in the FIRST POST... "Post if you have a humorous side" LOL exactly what I didnt need happening was someone getting personally insulted







some of the jokes are funny tho... lol


----------



## szuniga725 (Jul 12, 2007)

*Re: (Grifkylian)*


_Quote, originally posted by *Grifkylian* »_see this is why i said in the FIRST POST... "Post if you have a humorous side" LOL exactly what I didnt need happening was someone getting personally insulted







some of the jokes are funny tho... lol

BTW, I like the sig with the humorous side of car theft... I'm LOLing right now.


----------



## [email protected] (Apr 21, 2006)

Lot's of daddy issues in this thread.


----------



## dee ess kay (Dec 30, 2004)

*Re: (elnoly03)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly03* »_

/thread
















_Modified by elnoly03 at 11:08 PM 6-16-2009_

thats my freind Jon's EG, mikey's dc2 and Sun's EK.....
Hondas are great, easily built to be something fun....can easily be made to be quick and fun to drive.....but vws can be built to have just as much fun as just as quick. The only thing a honda lacks over VW is build quality and ride comfort. A dub may not be "luxurious", but i guarantee you its more comfortable as a daily. We didn't buy a dub to go 130mph from street light to street light, or take a corner at a light going 80mph......we bought it cause its well balanced. 
you're telling me a vw will never be on par with a honda, performance wise that is.....i'd say bull****. bang for buck it may not be as good as hondas, but they can be made to handle just as well. i remember two years ago at the superstreet time attack race a silverstone jetta came first place in front of AMS's evo, J's racing s2000, AJ sports k20 fit and a whole list of others.
mk2 1.8t gt2871r
audi s4 k04
mk1 1.8t
mk3 vr6t
mk2 vr6t
mk4 1.8t gt30
these are all examples of some really fun dubs.....
**by the way.....we have the option to equip most of our dubs with syncro or haldex.....2200lb mk2, awd, 1.8t putting out 400 chp....sounds like it'll do fine on the 1320 right?
And since you praise VTEC so much, let me tell you something....depending on which motor you have, you will hardly hit vtec in any daily driving situation. Given that you have a b18 (gsr) for example.....youre not going to hit vtec till 4-5k.......how often are you going to hit 4-5k in a daily driving situation?
By all means, i like hondas....80% of my friends are into the jdm scene.....i go to plenty of japanese car shows to support my friends....but do you know why people bag on hondas so often? its cause of you drivers....you guys rev on anything thats lowered or with an exhaust. you guys would pull up to a parked car and rev on it. its the image that you guys put out that makes people bag on hondas.
and another thing is...take a good look at the honda/scion scene right now.....you guys are taking A LOT of ideas from the dubbers. i see plenty of hondas with BBS RSs and stretched tires....my buddy Arnel had a rusted hood on his red EG.
Besides, these are just jokes.....don't take it personal. As long as you know what your honda is capable of then thats good enough, who cares what others say. There's no reason to be so defensive unless you have that level of insecurity....




_Modified by dee ess kay at 8:52 AM 6-17-2009_


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

last post elnoly03 showed me the thread and told me to defend hondas and to come in that it would be funny so u should flame him for encouraging me to troll


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

LOL yea dee ess kay... its just for fun


----------



## polska20v (Nov 9, 2007)

*Re:*

elnoly go post this in the TCL forum, we're just a little too nice here. They'll tear you a new ******* since it seems like thats what youre looking for. Once again he asked for "jokes", but looks like this thread pissed you off soooo much that you had to post this thread on the jdm forums







troll be gone. As for me I'm not sticking for either side although I do favor euro cars more







I have both a fully built EK with plenty of goodies and a couple vw's. 
Pro's on having a honda-cheaper to build one, last longer, throws barely any CEL's







Con's- interior is cheap and plasticy, get stolen all the time, get bad reps b/c ppl add dumb pepboys accessories
Yes I have seen plenty of honda's take vw's in the 1/4 mile and vise versa. Who really cares? Its a car forum. Lets all pull our dick's out and compare sizes too







(no ****)


----------



## Wolfs Edition DUB77 (Jun 26, 2007)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_fact of the matter is that hondas are faster in 1/4 mile and around the track. why v dubs only race against themselves. like the jetta cup ? why dont they come out and play ?

why get so uptight, it says humorous thread. It's just for fun. They're jokes, doesn't mean we're hating. PLus it says honda jokes in the fricken tittle, if you don't want to hear them don't click. Go ahead and bash a VW on the internet, or even to my face if you wanted, I wouldn't really care. Its a car, you're making fun of the brand of car I drive... Oh no. Its a material object being made fun of, not someone attacking your persona.
_Modified by Wolfs Edition DUB77 at 5:24 PM 6-17-2009_


_Modified by Wolfs Edition DUB77 at 5:24 PM 6-17-2009_


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

Haha i dunno if this fits a Honda, cuz im sure Import cars are cheaper than a lot of European autos but...
HONDA: Dealer style








Had One, Never Did Again
Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything 
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else 
Honda Options: No Deal Available! 
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons! 
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

What do Hondas and tampons have in common?
Every ***sy has one.
Speed kills, drive a Honda








Nissan is Nismo, so Honda is??? ****


----------



## jhouse81 (Jan 5, 2008)

*Re: (Grifkylian)*

this thread..
honda boys


----------



## ilovevvv (Oct 17, 2008)

*Re: (jhouse81)*

ive been watching this thread for a hot minute now and i am still shocked about how many honda guys are in this VWLOUNGE!!!!! I mean.... you guys are making yourselfs look bad everytime you post here.... Thats why they have TCL .... so we can have some peace in the Vwlounge








more jokes please...loking for a new sig http://****************.com/smile/emthup.gif


----------



## vr6dubnut12 (Nov 4, 2008)

*Re: (ilovevvv)*

can we get back to the jokes please


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

*Re:*

















Having VTEC is like having bad sex... it takes forever to get there, and once you're there, it STILL sucks


----------



## dee ess kay (Dec 30, 2004)

*Re: (Grifkylian)*


_Quote, originally posted by *Grifkylian* »_LOL yea dee ess kay... its just for fun









lol i know, i just wanted to point that out. I was real close to picking up an EK before I got my mk4. Glad i went with the mk4, but now the mk4 is going to the stealership for an 05 tacoma. Going to pick up a pre 67 bug for a project car.....i think i'm stuck owning at least 1 vws for life.....i love it


_Modified by dee ess kay at 9:20 AM 6-19-2009_


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

LOL if you're gunna build '67 Bug... consider this... hehe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woqiFrnZqvE
yea its a rotary turbo bug, but its badass


----------



## Boogety Boogety (Jun 22, 2003)

*Re: (Grifkylian)*

Now _that's _funny...








But beware! Fair warning! If someone mentions the Jet-Powered Beetle again, I'm going to find them and b!tch-slap them into a stupor...








By the way... here's how to make a Honda go faster:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...lated


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

LMFAO!


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

BUMP keep the jokes coming ppl


----------



## n8burnz (Jan 15, 2009)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_my vtec rapes all volkswagens. cause you guys drive slow and park low. great job dudes! when one of you beats a k24 bottom k20 head hatch holla at me. o wait you guys dont touch engines hmmm how can i put this in mechanically impaired terms... you guys are slow ok end thread 

next time you roll up on a boosted VR6 or even a 1.8T then we will see how well you can put up.
btw Mr.Fast and Furious, you better hit the NOS to get power before the VTEC kicks in yo


----------



## n8burnz (Jan 15, 2009)

*Re: (elnoly09)*


_Quote, originally posted by *elnoly09* »_since non of you idiots know the real origins of the 1/4 it was designed for AMERICAN MUSCLE idiots. japanese cars are meant to go aroudn corners. Torque monsters such as cobra, chevelles, and other american cars are meant for the 1/4 you guys are dumber then every one else says 

for those who can appreciate other makes of vehicle and not make an ass out of yourself:


----------



## dirtrida274 (Jan 24, 2007)

hey i think i found the honda joke...its the post made that got way out of hand because some people cant take jokes. i love you goodnight


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

This thread is getting better by the minute haha


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

Hey I got a funny joke...here it is....
"Honda." 
LMAO


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

How many people can you fit in a Honda? Well the bible says that all 12 disciples were in one ACCORD. 










_Modified by Grifkylian at 4:50 PM 6-20-2009_


----------



## elnoly09 (Jun 15, 2009)

*Re: (n8burnz)*


_Quote, originally posted by *n8burnz* »_
next time you roll up on a boosted VR6 or even a 1.8T then we will see how well you can put up.
btw Mr.Fast and Furious, you better hit the NOS to get power before the VTEC kicks in yo

speaking of 1.8t you should ask elnoly03 of the out come of his gli vs a certain b16 hatch. ask him how it felt when he saw the honda badge 5 cars ahead of him on first gear. he still wimpers at night about that night


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

thats a GLI... and it had a stock turbo lmao...
More jokes!!! lol


----------



## Grifkylian (Feb 8, 2007)

... and I bet that B16 Bubble had:
1.) No Back Seat
2.) No Spare Tire
3.) No Airbags or Radio
4.) No A/C
5.) No ABS or Power Steering
I bet his GLI wouldve done a number on the Honda if it had all that stuff REINSTALLED hahah


----------



## szuniga725 (Jul 12, 2007)

*Re: (Grifkylian)*


_Quote, originally posted by *Grifkylian* »_... and I bet that B16 Bubble had:
1.) No Back Seat
2.) No Spare Tire
3.) No Airbags or Radio
4.) No A/C
5.) No ABS or Power Steering
I bet his GLI wouldve done a number on the Honda if it had all that stuff REINSTALLED hahah 



ACTUALLY, it had all that and the trunk had 2 skateboard decks + a number of other things you'd normally find in a trunk, car cover and some random car care stuff...
Don't try and think that Hondas are crap, please go read a book, and learn some for the sake of the rest of the world losing brain cells reading your replies...
And another thing, if the car was completely stripped all you save is something like 100 pounds... there's still a ridiculous weight difference from a fairly new 4 dr sedan to a not so new 2 dr hatchback..


_Modified by szuniga725 at 5:40 PM 6-20-2009_


----------



## The_Hamster (Jul 31, 2000)

*Re: (elnoly03)*

This has no real VW content.
Locked due to no foreseeable productive future.


----------

